Discipline-To Spank Or Not To Spank

[RioDuranie]

My parents didnt spank us. They divorced when I was 7 and both basically lived their own lives. I learned to raise myself and little brother ( we are 13 years apart) because my mom had more interesting things to do then raise children. My father just wasnt involved.

As a parent now, my children are shown love and attention. The are hugged every morning and evening and some times inbetween.

I didnt feel loved or cared about as a child, but I let my children know every day I love them and care about them.

They are ages 15 & 12 and will still give me a hug and kiss in front of their friends.

With out them I know I would not be here today.

[moomama18]

I am very different from my parents - it is not always "You do this because I am the parent and I said so". I talk a lot with my kids. I let them know that there are rules that must be followed. I let them know that they help me and I help them. I let them know that they have consequences for every behavior - good and bad. I let them know that they make choices that lead to consequences - good and bad. I let them know that I love them, I may not like their behavior or their choice but I ALWAYS love them. I teach them to respect themselves and others - respect can mean listening to your sister's request, your parent's request, etc. I feel that I basically teach them lessons for life and how to deal with things in a way that will help them throughout their whole life.

[Peter Griffin]

Of course when I was a kid I would have loved it to be outlawed. More than once I was on the wrong end of a ass whoopin. I turned ok? Well lets not go there. But a swat on the ass is sometimes needed.

[illumination70]

I have nothing against a swat now and then , but not spanking a child uncontrollably as my idiotic younger brother and monstrous sister inlaw do.

[Khanada]

Spanking only as a last resort is the way in our house. When my daughter has been told repeated NOT to do something, then looks you right in the eye and does it anyway it's time for more than a time out. I can count on one hand the number of times she had her butt slapped.

[La Princess]

I don't have children. I don't see why spanking is always bad. Most of my friends got spanked. Most of their kids don't. Yet I see really bad kids today. I see kids badmouthing their parents. My parents would have never allowed that. I think it's because parents don't discipline like they should. Not saying kids should be spanked. Just saying in some cases it might help.

[fugitivepoet]

Not a spanker either. I think it's demeaning and it doesn't change their behavior. I just don't believe in striking someone that I love. That is my belief.

[pia]

I don't spank unless it is absolutely necessary to hit home that I don't want him playing with the stove or something like that. Unless it is something that is dangerous to him, there is zero reason in the world to lay a hand on him. My kids are very well behaved. Between the two of them, I can probably only count on one hand the times either of them has gotten a swat to the butt.

My kids are taught that every action they take will generate a consequence. It's on them to accept responsiblity for that consequence wether its good or bad. I think taking things away is far more effective.

If parents don't sit down and explain to their kids why something is wrong, not just that it is wrong, then it becomes ineffective. There are far better ways to deal with things than using one's hand. They need to know how to effectively communicate. It's up to the parents to teach them that. Hiting them, threatening to hit them isn't effective communication and it's only gonna set them up for failure later on in life.

I think that CPS should be revamped to include that. I don't think anyone should be allowed to breed without getting a license of sorts. Verbal abuse by parents is probably far more prevalent than physical abuse. Most people don't consider that they way they speak to others or their kids is/can be abusive. Words are just words right? Wrong. never underestimate the power your words hold. Especially when it comes to little kids. Bruises go away, words stay for life.

If someone's got kids who don't work well with reasoning, then that parent had better take a look at themselves first. All kids learn from us first. If their kid is that out of hand then its up to the parent to find a behavior management therapist. Get your kid the help he/she needs now not ten years from now.

[Firelight]

Spank...

There are already laws against abuse. Spanking is not abuse. If the Govt wants to tell parents how they should raise their children, then they should be very afraid what kind of kids we'll have. In the end I guess the govt will end up raising them...In one type of social program or another...worse still... jail!

Yes children need protection. But to criminalize good parents for a swat on the behind is ridiculous. I don't know what kind of children's protective service program California has, but I'll tell you, Massachusetts has their hands full already!!!

This is a logistical nightmare!

[pia]

firelight said:

Spank...

There are already laws against abuse. Spanking is not abuse. If the Govt wants to tell parents how they should raise their children, then they should be very afraid what kind of kids we'll have. In the end I guess the govt will end up raising them...In one type of social program or another...worse still... jail!

Yes children need protection. But to criminalize good parents for a swat on the behind is ridiculous. I don't know what kind of children's protective service program California has, but I'll tell you, Massachusetts has their hands full already!!!

This is a logistical nightmare!

Oh don't get me started on how screwed up California CPS is! That conversation/debate could go on for months! LOL