Ill Parents

[GeordieLass]

Not my parents but my Grandparents:

My Grandad spent about 4 months in hospital last year after he was rushed in with what turned out to be severe back pain because part of his spine had erroded - they thought he was having a heart attack at first because the pain was that severe. When he got into hospital he was then discovered to have a kidney infection, blood poisoning, pneumonia as well as the back issue and various other stomach bugs/illnesses he picked up in the hospital. The doctors, :s and even us (my family) at times didn't think he was going to make it. Of course, it didn't help that one of the junior doctors gave him a morphine overdose.
However, he did make it out. It's so sad to see him walking around with his stick now though when he used to be so active and walk for miles each day. Now he struggles to even walk down the garden and back. He's on so many tablets a day it's just silly - a good percentage of those are strong pain killers.
He needs an operation on his back to put something in place of the bones that have worn away but it's taken a while to find a surgeon and an anaesthetist who are willing to operate. At the moment he's just stuck sitting on the waiting list.

As I'm at uni not far away I've moved in with him and my Gran in a bid to try and help them. It's horrible having to watch them struggle so much when I can remember them being so much more active when I was younger.

My thoughts are with everyone else with ill relatives - many of who are much worse then mine.

[JTsButterfly]

It is very difficult. My mother died last June after a lengthy battle with lung disease.

It's painful watching those you love and who took care of you wasting away. My prayers are with you.

*hugs*

[saltysmile]

I honestly do not know what is worse, having to see the decline of your loved one, or just having them ripped from your life unexpectedly without having an opportunity to say goodbye. I have dealt with both situations with my grandparents suffering long illnesses and then losing my dad very suddenly.

My very best wishes to you and your family, I know what a difficult time it can be.

[BeeJoo]

I know how it feels to be in your shoes.

Mommy BeeJoo has been fighting cancer since the summer of 1998. She's currently in between chemotherapy treatments and is doing well. When she was first diagnosed - it was very bleak. She was in stage 4 at that time and given very little chance. Her oncologist calls her his, "Little Miracle" - she has fought and beaten the odds.

Father BeeJoo has heart disease and diabetes. But is following doctor's orders and is doing better. Other issues plague him at times - but he rises above it.

There are times you do want to throw your hands up in the air and yell at the top of your lungs. Get angry & what not - - - it's OKAY to let that happen when you feel the stress building up. You have to release.

Just know - - - that this board (like at over at dd.com) are here for ya.

[afan]

Thanks so much for the support, beejoo. I am really struggling with this today and I needed to hear a good word. Thanks again! And I karma'd you.!

[Kahlua]

Its not easy back in 2003 my mom had Lymphoma (cancer) in the throat. Since then she has succeeded & is cancer free. However, when all of this started it was the worst that my family has ever gone threw. We (he kids) had to be strong for her & we did all we could to make each day easier. The meds they take is bad & their energy level hits a low.
All I can say is be strong for your DAD, dont let him see you sad, eventhough you want to cry, & try to stay positive.
(((((((HUGS))))))))

[nobel]

(((((Huge hugs))))) to everyone suffering through this.

Five years ago I was smugly complacent. All of my grandparents and both of my parents were alive and in relatively good health. Now, a handful of years later, my father is the only one left, and he's battling with kidneys that have completely shut down. He will never be "well" again, but he's hanging in there, and I am grateful for every day that the dialysis machine buys us.

It's been a very difficult five years, and my head swirls when I think of how quickly I lost so many people so very central to my life.

[somenewromantic]

My mother was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Disease when I was five years old. She spent my entire (young) childhood sick with this.

Seventeen years later, about 7 years after she was declared in 'permanent remission' from the Hodgkin's (five years disease free), she found out she had endometrial cancer.....caused by the radiation therapy used to fight the Hodgkin's. She was diagnosed with the endometrial cancer the third week of March in 1996. She died May 6th, not quite two months later.

My father's health declined in the couple of years after my mother died. He has had four heart attacks, during one of which he apparently had to be defibrillated, after the doc had given him a good sternal punch......my aunt called me at two in the morning, and I made it from Atlanta, Georgia to Oak Ridge, Tennessee in just under two hours by car. My family had gone home as my father had stabilized, and, not finding any of them there, I had feared the worst, as admissions could find record of his being admitted from the ER. When I went up to the Cardiac Care Unit, a : informed me, "Oh, yeah, he's here," and I think I almost fainted with the relief of it. I was shocked at the sight at my Dad--he had a horrible bruise on his chest from where he'd been hit, then shocked, and my six foot two father weighed only 148 pounds.....only 8 pounds more than me. I remember just bawling when he woke up and reached up for my hand and said, "Hey, little girl, you shouldn't have come all this way." His health has gotten better since he remarried; my stepmom takes good care of him.

In 2004, within the space of a month and a half, my mom's mother and her oldest brother died. Then her brother's wife died. Since all three had often taken care of me when my mom was sick it was like losing second parents. And my Mom's sister....she's the only one left now, of her immediate family. She also took care of me alot when I was a child, and seeing her in that kind of pain was more than I could stand--I think I cried for her as much as I did for myself, and I cried quite a bit that year. My Mom always said I'm just like my aunt, and she is truly my other Mom. I agree with Denise when she says it's hard to watch the ones who cared for you get ill and then pass away--it makes you feel like a lost child, and it doesn't matter how old you are. I actually told my husband, after my my uncle and then his wife died that I just didn't think I could stand going on and seeing everyone I love just die. I was at a very low point--I had been depressed for weeks--but he took me to see a doctor after that.

It's hard to face up to--it hurts and it tears your heart out, and you do question (or I did) what's the use of going on if everything you love just dies?

And then early in 2005, one of my cousins I am pretty tight with, and not too much older than me, called me to tell me she had become a grandmother. She had absolute joy in her voice and it occured to me........everything comes full circle. Yes, the people who took care of you are gone........but they are replaced by these precious little ones for us to take care of.