Post by palomino-72 on Jan 27, 2007 17:32:52 GMT -5
Has anyone seen this book (click here) yet? It's a collection of lonely-hearts ads printed in the classifieds of the London Review of Books.
Given the readership, you'd think they'd be all highbrow, right? Wrong. But they're pretty bloody funny - here's a selection:
Given the readership, you'd think they'd be all highbrow, right? Wrong. But they're pretty bloody funny - here's a selection:
You're a brunette, 6', long legs, 25-30, intelligent, articulate and drop-dead gorgeous. I, on the other hand, am 4'10", have the looks of Herve Villechaize and carry an odour of wheat. No returns and no refunds at Box no. 3321.
These ads try too hard to be funny. Not me, I'm a natural. Juggling, monkey-faced idiot (M, 36). Box no. 5312.
I'm just a girl who can't say 'no' (or 'anaesthetist'). Lisping Rodgers and Hammerstein fan, female lecturer in politics (37) WLTM man to 40 for thome enthanted eveningth. Box no. 2498.
My other car is a bike. Eco-friendly bio-diverse M (29). Smells a bit like soil and eats too much soup, but otherwise friendly (you're not seriously going to put that burger in your mouth, are you?). Box no. 8563.
I am the literary event of 2007, or at the very least the most entertaining drunk on my ward. Please visit (Mon-Thurs, 5-7 p.m., bring chocolate, and gin). F, 41. Box no. 4365.
My animal passions would satisfy any woman, if only it weren't for the filibustering of this damned colon. And the chafing of these infernal hospital sheets. Write now to M, 83, for ward visiting hours and a list of approved solids. Box no. 2377.
Unashamed triumphalist male for the past 46 years. Will I bore you? Probably. Do I care? Probably not. Box no. 4002.
They call me Naughty Lola. Run-of-the-mill beardy physicist (M, 46). Box no. 4023.
I want my mummy. Man (37) with far too many issues to go into detail about in this column seeks psychoanalyst/tailor/stevedore. Whitstable. Box no. 0566.
In a certain light I look like Robert Mitchum. In a certain light you look like Kim Novak. More usually I look like Shrek. More usually you still look like Kim Novak. Yes, you're very unlucky. Now pass me the Doritos and get over it. Box no. 3917.
My favourite Ben & Jerry's is Acid-Boiled Bones of Divorce Lawyer. The don't yet make it, but damn, I can taste its sweet, sweet ice-creamy softness already. Bed-sit-living doctor (M, 54). Box no 6321.
OMG! This magazine is the shizz! Seriously, dudes. Awesome! LOL! Classics lecturer (M, 48). Possibly out of his depth with today's youth. KTHX! Box no. 2680.
