How old is too old to become pregnant?

[xxx]

aye denny.. that's what I think too

[oberkat]

This has been a touchy subject for me for a while. My dad was 51 when I was born and I had to go through childhood having people assume he was my grandfather and being teased by classmates ("Wow - you're dad is as old as my grandparents!"). Not fun. I spent my twenties having to do his shopping for him because he was no longer able to. It started out as just being his chauffeur because he was no longer able to drive, but he got to the point where he just didn't have the energy to even go to the store. He went into a nursing home when I was 28, and passed away when I was 29.

Granted, I know that having a younger parent isn't a guarantee that they won't die until the child is older (diseases and accidents can happen at any age), but when the parent is older, it is so much more likely that the child will be burying their parent when said child is only a teenager or young adult. I love my dad very much, and treasure all the great times I had with him, but I do feel somewhat cheated by having had an older parent. Although, in my parents' defense, I was an "oops" (I joke with my mom that it was more like "oh sh!t, not again!" since both of my older sisters were also "oops babies"). They had no intention of having another baby, I just kind of happened. (for the record, my mom was only 31). I believe that those people who intentionally have children when they're older are being selfish. They're doing it because they want to have a child, but aren't giving any consideration to that child's future.

All that being said, I have a friend who also had a father who was older when she was born (I believe he was also in his 50's) and she sees nothing wrong with older people having children.

[ddfan4life]

Well, I'll be 37 this year and am due anyday with my 1st child. I waited on purpose because I have a sister with 4 kids who had her 1st when she was 16. I learned from her mistakes even if she didn't.

Waiting is the way to go in every way, except health. I think waiting was smart in the sense that I am much smarter, can afford not to work and my husband is a dream. Now, that being said, the health side has been an issue. I have gestational diabetes (which I believe I would have had anyway), am severly enemic, and my cankles look like tree trunks, and my body just isn't as strong as say a 22 year old. So in that way, it's much easier to have a baby younger, but I'm still glad I didn't do it.

I'm in a much better place now as opposed to 10+ years ago.

I do think that having kids at 67 is very selfish, but that's just me.

[AnHoTh]

I have no doubt that if a parent is 25 or 75 they can still give a child a good upbringing full of love, care and insight etc.

Having a child though at an age where it is doubtful you'll be able to give all of the above throughout a timespan allowing the child to become a well-rooted adult is madness to me.

I can think of very few people who have lost their parents as children or while in their teens who are not marked or even damaged by it.

So depending on average life expectancy around the various parts of the world I would say that around where I am from 45-50 is absolutely the oldest that anyone male or female should be to have a child.

[silverprincess]

This question has been on my mind a lot lately. I'm 36 and my husband is 44. We desperately want a child. I didn't intend to wait until now to have a child. I didn't find the man I wanted to marry until I was in my late 20s. I got married at 32. Not long after marriage we tried to get pregnant but it wasn't happening. Then last year I had two losses. I'm determined to keep trying and I hope it happens sooner rather than later. Things don't always happen when we want them to or the way we want them to but it doesn't make us want them any less. In a perfect world, I would've met my husband when I was younger and our first two pregnancies would've been successful but things didn't work out that way.

There was 21 years difference between my parents. No one knows when a parent is going to die. My Mom was 20 when she had me but she was the one to be seriously ill before my father. She beat cancer. My Dad was never sick a day in his life until he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. He was a wonderful father.

I think 67 is too old to have a baby but this lady could live to be in her 80s and the children will be adults. It's never easy to lose a parent.

[marisan]

I consider myself of being very fortunate of having been raised by a younger mom who is like a friend than a mom. But considering the recent remarkable advancement in medical science and technology that might push the limit of human life longevity, I would not set the limit on this. Like, they say, 50s are like old 20s these days.

[starry]

I'm a 40 year old trying to get pregnant (Actually I originally said I will stop trying at 40 but moved the time frame to 42.) and still trying without the Fertility drugs. Having a child in my 60's is not a good plan.

[holldoll]

I can't imagine having a baby at age 50 and beyond.
I had my third (and last!) baby last April at the age of 37 and I can definitely say that having my girls at ages 26 and 30 were MUCH easier.
The pregnancy was great, (besides normal swelling and discomfort at the end) but the lack of sleep and running and chasing after a very active 9 month old sure feels like it's taking it's toll on this body of mine.
My knees make "cracking" noises when I bend over to pick her up for pete's sake! Oh and my back? fuggetaboutit. lol

[tj103]

I can't believe this topic, only b/c just last night I discussed this very thing w/my best friend. This is just my experience, and it is in no way intended to offend anyone:

I am 35 and have 2 children - 4 years and 8 months. I had my son when I was 35. He is the love of my life, BUT he is a handful. Whereas my daughter was and is an easy child, my son has a host of problems. He has mild to moderate hearing loss in both ears and requires hearing aids. He sees a speech therapist and and ENT regularly. He has acid reflux and is on meds for that. He is susceptible to ear infections, and we may have to put tubes in his ears. From the day we brought him home from the hospital, due to his ailments, he has had a chronic cough, chronic runny nose,and chronic spit ups. He is NOT a good sleeper, and can get quite cranky. In a nutshell - he has special needs, and requires special attention 24/7.

My husband and I are running low on patience these days. I have been ill this whole winter due to lack of good rest, as I am up all the time with my son. I feel 30 years older than I really am. I told my friend, who had all of her 4 children by the time she was 30, that she did the right thing. I feel that at 35 - yes, 35 - I lack the patience and stamina to deal with motherhood. I love my kids to pieces, and wouldn't trade them for the world, but I am so tired and wired. I think that if I was even 5 years younger, that I wouldn't feel so burned out. I do, thank god, that I had my children by the time I was 35, b/c if I had waited any longer, god knows what kind of mother I'd be! I can't imagine mothering babies and pre-school children in your 40's. I am looking forward to kindergarten for my daughter next year, and the fact that both kids will be in f/t school by the time I reach 40 gives me a sense of relief.

I definitely know that I was not ready to be a Mom in my early 20's...but, I kinda wish I had both my kids by 30-31. I love being a mother, but lately I have been wishing I had done it sooner.

[Deleted]

I am also glad I waited to have a baby. I had my baby (who will be one next month on the 23rd) when I was 34 (almost 35). I used to think I wanted a baby when I was young, but not as young as my mom when she had me (she was 17 when I was born), more like in my early 20's. Now, I'm glad we waited. My husband and I were married 9 years before our baby was born, so we had the chance to do a lot of things before she came along.

Also, we are in the position now, that I'm able to stay home with our daughter for as long as I want to. Whereas if we had her some years ago, we would not have been in that position.

My pregnancy was EXTREMELY easy. The only issue I had was some ankle swelling in the last month. If I really wanted another baby, I wouldn't think twice about it (as long as it was before I was 40), but I'm good with one baby. ;D