Sympathy cards at work

[SekretReligion]

My friend's husband died earlier this week. She had my job before I did so she has a history with where I work and there are still quite a few people there who know her. I passed around a card to send to her and I was surprised when a couple people were reluctant to sign saying that she won't know who they were.
Now we are signing cards for board members and donors who wouldn't know me and I have no problem with it. And I got people in other departments to sign the card no problem. I can understand the one co-worker who just moved here from out of state and I didn't press her, but the other one shocked me because I think my friend does know who she is.

My question is, how do you feel about signing cards? Do you do it even though you have no idea what to say, or do you politely decline?

[starry]

I never heard of someone refusing to sign a sympathy card. I don't think there is anything wrong giving sympathy regardless of knowing the person or not. Maybe that's just me.

[SekretReligion]

My supervisor told me I could say they were told to sign it by her, but that seems a little harsh.

It does seem strange to not want to give sympathy.

[schmacko]

I like to write Good Luck! in every card.


(Just thought you might need a laugh.)

[Missbrowneyes]

I used to be like some of the people at your job. It just felt funny, but recently my mother died (just a few weeks ago) and I got a card from the department and personal phone calls and I can't tell you how much it lifted me. I mean people really do care. So if and when I get a card I will not hesitate to send my condolences.

[jen68]

maybe it feels disingenuous to them to sign it when they really don't know the person. it doesn't mean they don't feel sympathy. personally, i don't like group projects like this either. i know people's feelings are in the right place, but i'd rather express my feelings in my own way. to say that they have to sign it ruins the sentiment, don't you think?

[closetfan]

missbrowneyes said:

I used to be like some of the people at your job. It just felt funny, but recently my mother died (just a few weeks ago) and I got a card from the department and personal phone calls and I can't tell you how much it lifted me. I mean people really do care. So if and when I get a card I will not hesitate to send my condolences.

So sorry to hear about your loss. My condolences to you and your family. Hope you are doing ok.

[daisybell911]

You can still feel sympathy for folks whether you know them or not. Anyway, it's just easier to sign the damn thing than to create drama over it.

[notoriousphantom]

hmmm, i would be hesitant to if i disliked the person. i wouldn't care if i didn't think they knew who i was.

[Kahlua]

Its a sympathy card, (coming from work), why avoid it & make a big deal about it. Just show a little class & respect.

It makes the one on the recieving end feel some kind of comfort.