pattylondon
NOTORIOUS
Shalom Aleichem
I went from wallpaper to heartbreaker
Posts: 1,385
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Post by pattylondon on Feb 1, 2007 15:23:59 GMT -5
I guess I'm also questioning why he would ask the question about his father in the first place. If he has a good familial support, which it seems he does, is he questioning it because he sees fathers at the daycare, and he wonders where his is? Besides his father the other day talked with him, promisig he was going to see him on Sunday, Yes he sees other parents at the daycare! And he is smart, clever boy for only have 2 years and a half... xxx thanks  |
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Post by Carina on Feb 1, 2007 17:28:36 GMT -5
Besides his father the other day talked with him, promisig he was going to see him on Sunday. I grew up with two girls (one was a classmate, the other was younger) who were abandoned by their father after their mother died, and they were raised by their grandparents. I remember my classmate telling me about a time when their father was coming to pick them up so that they could spend some summer vacation time with him and his second wife. They waited by the window all day. He never showed nor called. If he doesn't keep his promises, maybe you could refrain from telling Gabriel when his father is coming for a visit. If he shows up, then it will be a pleasant surprise for Gabriel, and if he doesn't, Gabriel will never know the difference. *edited for stupid grammar mistake* |
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Post by stuporfly on Feb 1, 2007 17:32:37 GMT -5
I've been thinking... I love my son too much!  And his dad called him to tell he was going to see him -after all the suing thing and all- and never went; and my son told me... "Mom, my dad don't really love me?" And I have to agree, what else I can say? But I told him, but mom loves you, your grandpa', your grandma', your uncles... and he said... okay, and did a face that reminded me Roger... so I guess I still crazy -lol- Your son is very lucky to have you in his life, Patty. No child should ever have to ask if one of their parents loves them, but no matter how things shake out with his father, your beautiful little boy clearly has a mother who loves him more than anything else in the world. We're sending good thoughts from New York to the two of you. |
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pattylondon
NOTORIOUS
Shalom Aleichem
I went from wallpaper to heartbreaker
Posts: 1,385
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Post by pattylondon on Feb 1, 2007 19:43:46 GMT -5
@ Carina... few minutes ago he called to say he was comming tomorrow, and asked me to talk with Gabriel, and I said to him Gabriel is sleeping, and I am not going to say he is comming tomorrow...
@ Stuporfly... Thanks, thank you very much for that and it was one of the things I was thinking in my way home, no any child should ask that!
*Feels self relieved*
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Post by Carina on Feb 1, 2007 22:01:58 GMT -5
@ Carina... few minutes ago he called to say he was comming tomorrow, and asked me to talk with Gabriel, and I said to him Gabriel is sleeping, and I am not going to say he is comming tomorrow... Brava! It's seems to be the only option you have, considering his father hasn't shown a good history on keeping his promises. |
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Post by ddfan4life on Feb 7, 2007 4:28:18 GMT -5
I had a dad like that growing up and he did the same things to me, but agreeing with him that his father doesn't love him is hurtful, even if you don't see it now.
You should never speak ill of his father in front of him, even if he is a complete loser. I DID overhear a conversation she had about my father and the way he was with us and my aunt when I was young and it still stings. I never told my mother about it and I think it would hurt her if she knew she'd accidently hurt me.
My mother never did it to me and it payed off. He'll understand as he grows up. Kids are much smarter than we give them credit for.
You should just try to be uplifting for him, not agree with all that's bad. My mother was enough for me and I'm sure you'll be enough for him.
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Post by pia on Feb 7, 2007 12:26:13 GMT -5
Patty, Gabriel is absolutely adorable! He's one cute little man.
That being said, as parent who is going thru similar things right now, don't poison that little boy against his father. I know how hard it is to refrain from saying what you know to be true. My son always asks "where's my daddy? I want my daddy". Keep in mind that daddy has the freedom to see his son anytime he wants to. Problem is, Mike isn't his problem/concern until it serves a purpose for daddy.
I've never ever prevented him from seeing his son. I don't have the right to take mike's father away from him or bad mouth him. There have been times when Mike's dad says he's coming to see him and just doesn't show. Rather than agreeing with him that daddy doesn't love him, I flat out just don't tell mike when daddy is coming over. That would demolish his little heart if he knew daddy was supposed to come see him and not show up.
Your boy will know the truth on his own in time. What is important now is to be there for him without a word about daddy. Try to be neutral. My mom never ever bad mouthed my dad even though she would've been justified in doing so. I met my dad when I was 16. And swiftly found out what kind of person he was. Despite everything my mother has put me thru, at least I can give her credit for that. She allowed me to find out for myself without trying to influence the situation. Your little man will know who was there for him as he grew.
If you ever need to talk send me a pm. It isn't easy to go thru this and see your child suffering because of the parent who isn't there when they should be.
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Post by moomama18 on Feb 7, 2007 15:23:04 GMT -5
Patty - I wish you all the best. My daughter is in love with your boy and keeps asking who he is!! I agree with most on here that you need to let him see for himself, he is wise and will appreciate you allowing him to come to his own decisions. My neice went through the same exact thing and we never bad talked her father. She realized all on her own how much of a schmuck he is.
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pattylondon
NOTORIOUS
Shalom Aleichem
I went from wallpaper to heartbreaker
Posts: 1,385
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Post by pattylondon on Feb 7, 2007 16:15:34 GMT -5
Patty, Gabriel is absolutely adorable! He's one cute little man. That being said, as parent who is going thru similar things right now, don't poison that little boy against his father. I know how hard it is to refrain from saying what you know to be true. Your boy will know the truth on his own in time. What is important now is to be there for him without a word about daddy. Try to be neutral. If you ever need to talk send me a pm. It isn't easy to go thru this and see your child suffering because of the parent who isn't there when they should be. Thank you and yes I need to talk! My daughter is in love with your boy and keeps asking who he is!! I agree with most on here that you need to let him see for himself, he is wise and will appreciate you allowing him to come to his own decisions. OMFG I guess its my time to proof I am strong, while you say to me that and that stupid Mother Fvcker Yesterday in court make me appear as the worst woman ever! Yesterday was a shitty day, even the lawyer make me feel secure about we are going to win, but sometimes I feel so fvcking weak... I know what I lived, I saw this EMF fvcking Lady Godiva in my bed, working the hell out of me to keep money coming, and he... Jesus, the only question I can make is What for? Why I have to get through this? THe million man in this stupid world I had to set my eyes in the most imbecil twit schmuck arse in this planet!!!!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrr I am pissed, royally! Actually! Dammit!!!!!!!!! |
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Post by moomama18 on Feb 7, 2007 22:36:05 GMT -5
and just go in and hug that beautiful little boy and know what you are doing all of this for.
Come here and vent - we are all here to listen. You will make it through, it will be hard, but you can do it.
{{{{{hugs}}}}}}
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